"a dairy"
Hey.
So, where do I begin?
Procrastination, that's where. JFC. (Jesus Fried Chicken). I have an essay that needs writing, and yet I'm right (write? haha, get it?) here.
Well then.
Hasta la vista babygirls, see ya on the other side.
But WHO NEEDS IT, right? (write.)
ya kno
some people have a lil thing called CONSISTENCY. well THAT AIN'T ME CHIEF. THAT AIN'T ME BUSTA!!!!
imagine
having
a
sleep schedule
or
sleep
at
all
i dont have an endocrine system, i have an endocrine "set of loose guidelines".
ummmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm uhhhhh
uhhhhhhhh i need a job. i tell that one lady at that one store i'd work for less than minimum wage
uhhhhh schedule driving instruction
uhhh senior portraits
uhhhhh research colleghes
study SAT (bring predicted 1460 up to 1550, bluebook??? khan academy)
i also want to write about a whole nother topic but my room is too fuckin hot 2 write rn juhgh fgh fgh fgh fgh fgh fgh fgh fgh adgadfg rsth hf hfgh
Saturday, July 13, 2024
christ has riSEN... Using the power of Fleischmanns® Yeast, you can achieve anything, even rising Jesus in those hard-to-reach, cave-tomby places. Now with rapid rising action!
Did this instead of my Swarthmore and Harvey Mudd application on their due dates (my two dream schools; which I got INTERVIEWED for and received positive feedback from the interviewers) cuz I didn't understand teacher recommenders were a thing so there was no point in tryna submit the application anyway. Instead spent brief period of time in elevated emotional state making useless drawings.
kicking myself.
maybe UCs will go well
maybe
swattie app got extended
and yet
i am not completing it
due to
*anxiety*
"muh anxiety" EVERYONE HAS ANXIETY BITCHHHHHHH
ok listen
i don't sleep bitch
bitchhhh!!!!
senior superlatives, amirite?
for some reason the ASB decided to make 5 out of 13 superlatives offered have a negative connotation.
"biggest heartbreaker" let's slutshame girls again. she's a bop!!!
"most likely to get carded at 30" god forbid men be short
"Most Irresponsible" seriously? this is the worst out of all of them WTF.
"Worst Driver" this is kinda funny but like. what happened to "most likely to succeed"
"Most Controversial". The guy who everyone's voting is a total sweetheart once you get to know him. Also several people voted me apparently. Not to imply that I'm a sweetheart or anything, but...
I suppose i'd rather be "Most Controversial" than nothing at all... at least it indicates you speak your mind? even if not necessarily in a totally-PC manner? ---> which is, paradoxically, Hashtag Girlboss
here's a quote from The Haunting of Hill House.
i've never watched it, but i saw it in a Reddit thread of "Good movie quotes?"
Olivia Crain: We're all safe now. This is our forever house. It always was. Nothing bad will ever touch them ever again.
Hugh Crain: Nothing good will, either.
and that about-sums up my thoughts on this matter
There's an epidemic of White people (often White women, but seems to be gradually spreading to men as well) giving themselves every single label they can come up with because they can't stand the idea of being privileged.*
*Myself included. Asdffdjknxcmvnxcmnerjksauoiauioiua
entp sluei 4w3 sx/so nasa fbi irs 69420 rat
Being fr, this format sucks balls. Online diaries tempt me into revealing too much personal information because there's just enough of an illusion of privacy....
Apparently this site has gotten around ~1500 views. I dunno from where. (If you're seeing this, hi!)
I doubt there are returning viewers since there's no interactive aspect to the site. I've only found two or three sites I return to semi-regularly and they're far better-constructed than this one.
This just in.
I've decided to become an enneagram 7 because they're cooler and enneagram is fake anyway.
Maybe I'll be a 3. They're successful and driven.
Or a 5! Those guys are smart.
(you sexist pig what about women
*Slaps knee* Oh ho ho, but women don't exist on the internet.
i do not know anything i was going to try to say something useful but then i got caught up in this worthless monologue about enneagram
OSTRITCH TIME BABYGIRL!!!!! STICK YO HEAD IN THE SAND LIKE AN OSTRICH ? OSTRITCH? I DUNNO HOW TO SPELL 1!!!!
man i was actually going to write about a really interesting sociological/political phenomenon but ended up giving into the temptation to write drivel OH WELL OH WELL OH WELL
rip kanye fans
I know I have more agency than I recognize. Heck, I could literally go outside and start eating dirt right now!
(yes that's a reference to something i either read on twitter or tumblr, not sure)
Can't you just be a normal person?
Why do you
(WHEN I SAY "YOU" I MEAN "ME") (I am talking to myself)
always feel the need to eviscerate every idea?
and Scotch-tape it back together and turn that worksheet back in as homework. wouldn't it be more convenient not to rip it up in the first place?
This doesn't need to be on the internet
this doesn't need to be written, and yet, you wrote it
Will this make someone feel better?
Will this harm me?
people film themselves crying, with snot running down, to Taylor Swizzle's The Tortured Poets Department
i have more agency than i think
both are true
Calc II - Proctoring at [REDACTED] college.
Work on ETHN.
Girl Scout Gold Award.
Physics C... independent test proctoring or with some school? Do that ASAP.
"If necessary, add homeschooled students or students whose schools don’t offer their AP Exams(s) to your exam order by March 14" Do this ASAP, 3/14 is deadline for the SCHOOL. May need to go all the way to the Bay Area - [REDACTED] school said nope, no way, buzz off.
Get some sleep. Everytime I close my eyes I get the mental equivalent of Family Guy Subway Surfers Slime Fun Palooza Extravaganza Hour. It's very unpleasant.
March 1780, 2020. Quarantine killed the internet.
"It was years before I came to the conclusion that you can't stop the brutal beauty of the food chain by removing yourself from it
There is no life without death
There's no way to live perfect" ~George Watsky [Leopards & Horseshoes]
You know, leaving it with the Watsky quote would've been a poetic way to end this.
However.... I did not.
2,079 page views. Wow. Half of them are probably robot crawlers.
Note to self: try self hosting.
Every Marvin needs a Whizzer. #deep #ijustwatchedfalsettositwasprettygood
This is really how it feels like sometimes. Nobody does it like Saorise.
"Realisant mon espoir
Je me lance, vers la gloire ok"
2:30
So, for context: I received $10,000 in scholarship money from two dudes. My essay was intentionally quirky and weird and overly vulnerable to scare off the weak and maybe entertain someone whose eyes had previously glazed over.
Today I receive THIS email:
Hi Angela,
Congratulations on your scholarship! I am getting ready to mail out all the student thank you letters to our scholarship donors, they love reading them! I would like to ask you a favor if you could send me a new thank you letter, a simple thank you for investing in my education, I am grateful. I would be happy to help you with this if you would like, you can come to our office.... Let me know if you can drop off to our office if you would like me to meet you. I can also bring you a thank you card. .....
Her letter sounded somewhat angry, so I reply:
Hi ******
I've sent a thank you letter to all three scholarships I've received....... [lots of stuff omitted for brevity]
Could you please let me know if you need another letter (to the same addressees, or to someone different) or if there is something specific you are looking for?
Looking forward to your response.
Best regards,
Anjelika
Her reply:
I would like to the letter to read more professional. I am recommending you write a new letter to ****** and ***** [persons who chose me for the scholarship] before I mail out to them.
Um.... No. I don't think I should. I think my letter was perfectly good the first time and I don't want to do this fake heartfelt peacocking crap because I was actually grateful the first time, and now you're telling me to pull back? I wasn't prostrating myself on the floor and it wasn't rude either. If they liked the essay I wrote originally they'd probably think the letter is endearing. Now you're telling me to rewrite it? Cool, cool.
I mean, she's just doing her job. If I was her coworker I'd cite "creative differences", but at the same time, I don't want to make her mad because what if she tells them to retract the money?
I hate conflict. I just wanted to display something... authentic? I mean. FFS the dudes were chill! The dudes were chill AF!!!
She's just doing her job and I don't want to fight with her, especially via email. But it really grinds my gears that you're policed into this little box of fake feelings and those are the only feelings displayable. It was a letter and quite a bit more thought-out than the other two scholarship thank-you letters I sent that were trapped in the box of fake authenticity.
But those crappy letters I shat out in five minutes were just fine! A-OK.
Actually, I was in the wrong. I'm just going to do what she says and not fight it.
But it still makes me mad.
But she's probably in the right.
My opinion of her is probably also negatively biased because she misspelled my name. Add in my natural skepticism of "professionalism" and you've made me undeservedly mad. I don't like my emotions or words to be policed, and her brusque tone makes me feel unreasonably attacked.
Now I have to drive over there just to make her feel better.
Er, not to embarass myself... on their behalf.
Even though I personally think that ***** and ***** would've appreciated the original letter more.